Are You Afraid Of The Dark

I  hold on with no sign of letting go

Clinging to it like its all there is  to this lifetime

The way I carry myself shows I am not even considering moving on

They all look at me and question my choices

But my eyes take you deep into a dark world revealing not too much but fear

If only I could tell you my story maybe my craziness would actually make sense

Maybe then my fear would shed more light on my attitude making you understand

I am cautious in my every move

Like someone who is scared of messing up or doing it wrong

I am on a mission to be ever perfect afraid of being judged

Afraid of being labelled a failure and the black apple of the family

I am afraid of the stigmatisation brought forth by society

Like a child who is afraid of the dark

Which is merely a fear of the unknown

So I am with my heart

It is broken already, shattered is the word

Like a glass dropped from the top cupboard

And its million pieces spreading all over

Hurting those unaware of its breaking

I am afraid of walking away from my toxic surroundings

Robotically programmed thinking that it is all I know

Pain is all I will ever know and feel

Afraid to step out of the cave and feel the sunshine on my pale skin

Confused that maybe the damage already done is okay and can be endured

Than the idea of letting go,moving on and walking away

I am lost in my own world trying to put a finger to what exactly I am afraid of

Maybe if I was to take not a leap but a step or even a crawl

Of faith I will realise that what is scary, is how I am slowly dying yet I am unaware

The grass may not be greener out there now

But the rains are coming and the arid savannah will have a beautiful shade of green

I just have to  give it time and  not be afraid

I am not afraid of the dark

I am scared of what I think is in  it

I am not afraid of heights

I am just  afraid of falling

I am  not afraid of the people around me

I am  simply afraid of rejection

I really can’t be afraid of love

I am just afraid of not being loved back

I am  not afraid to let go

I am just scared of accepting the reality that he is gone

I am  not afraid of trying again

I am just afraid of  getting hurt for the same reason

©Scotchroyalty

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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