They say there is no formula to this equation called love just that when it’s yours it will work out. From meeting on Facebook to finally getting to meet in person, becoming friends , dating and fighting and insecurities they chose that if nothing lasts forever , they would still be together till it ends.
So I get to write another love story I mean love is meant to be celebrated right.I also wrote on her book launch this year. So the last weekend two of my friends Mdu and Sanelisiwe had their lobola ceremony. This is the process whereby the guy goes to his girl’s family to pay the bride price which is said to be a “token of appreciation”.
Rewind before amalobolo, they are not high school sweethearts, or met at church or saw each other in a restaurant or the road side but this millenial tech savvy couple lol met on social media, Facebook to be exact.
Mdu says she simply appeared on his list of suggested friends and she was beautiful so he decided to send her a friend request. Which she took days to respond to by the way. They then became Facebook friends and actual friends even started working on a certain project.
“Because we’re both creatives we ended up becoming friends outside of the business relationship, then we became best friends until the point when we started dating.” Sanelisiwe
A friend of mine once said
“Men will marry who they want to marry PERIOD , and it won’t be quantified by if she drinks, wears tight clothes, or goes to sleep at 10 pm or if she is a single mom etc. Men don’t even know who they want to marry until they meet a woman they don’t want to be without.” Pineapple
Mdu narrated to me how for their first date which he enjoyed by the way went and that he was broke and had to ask his flatmate for a dollar to go see her in Greencroft.
“Mysteriously a client of mine sent me some money and I said let’s go grab some drinks .After the date she took me to bus stop, yet I didn’t have money on me.So I got into the kombi after the goodbyes, and after a few metres where she couldn’t see me , got off the kombi and walked all the way to Malbereign. But I didn’t mind the distance because I was a happy man.”
Coming from a relationship and also going through her own life issues Sanelisiwe held back a lot and this is something Mdu had to get used to. However he says that slowly she opened up and to this day they are amazing best friends. There were highs and lows but the love was what kept them together through it all.
Fast foward to popping the question,
“I was never the guy who would propose and all that white people stuff.I was the guy who would just say I want to marry you and lobola dates and all of that are set.But I had to propose because I knew that’s what she wanted”.
He didn’t know his Queen’s ring size so he had to trick her somehow. He sent her money to get her nails done and asked her to send a picture which he then took to the jewellery shop and surprisingly the ring was a perfect fit.
I think millenials have far the greatest number of heartbreaking stories to talk about relationship wise. Because of this I had to ask the couple how one gets to the decision that yes I want to spend the rest of my life with this person the good , the bad and all of it. And these were their responses:
“When you look at everything you have been through together and how you’ve overcome certain trials you’ve been dealt, if you’re standing tall and stronger after it all and the loves burns deeper than it did in the beginning then you know you have found someone who will weather any storms life might throw at you and that’s what makes a great partner, someone who is willing to put in the work and not throw in the towel when the going gets tough.” Sanelisiwe
“A lot was going on between us ,we had a lot of problems. But it made me fall in love with her even more. We had hit our lowest but I realised she was the only woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.”
#SideNote: The ring was bought a week before the proposal.
In a society where youngsters are simply doing the most the two decided to honour their families and go about marriage the way that was acceptable with the families.
And on a very hot Saturday in Beitbridge Mdu and his entourage which had his uncles, brother and friends brought the Muyambo families the cows and paid the bride price. To an emotional Father who was now letting go of his baby girl but proud that she went about it the right way.
Mdu says the process was better than what they anticipated or what they hear from others who have gone through it. Sanelisiwe was worried about how much bride price they would be asked to pay and a sip of her dad’s glass of whisky kinda helped cool the nerves lol and at the end of the day she was customarily Mrs Mabhena.
So if you part of the singletons club don’t worry you won’t be in that chair till your heart stops. The heart that’s meant to love you will love you flaws and all.
To Mdu and Sane you made me a proud friend and I can’t wait again to write about your white wedding. Congrats once again and may your love be so strong to survive the times and so old fashioned to last forever.