If only this thing called life came with a manual then surely members of the human race would practice every day till they finally get the hang of it. This would then mean that there wouldn’t be any mistakes , no wrong turns as the navigation would be right in our faces.
Sadly , one can never get the hang of life so despite the good, one is prone to make mistakes and make bad and super bad decisions that they have to live with for the rest if their life.
Living with the guilt, embarrassment or shame of your past mistakes is like walking with a back pack filled with rocks. On top of it hurting your shoulders it simply slows you down.
As we get older we carry regrets, shame and remorse about things we’ve done and things we’ve failed to do. You might think you are the only person with a secret stash of shame about past actions but take comfort in knowing everyone has done things they regret.
In dealing with your mistakes you need to acknowledge your actions without excuses or justification.
You need to acknowledge that you did what you did, whatever it might be. You did it. Not some impostor or evil twin. Stop ignoring it or denying your participation in your actions.
If you did someone wrong , go to them and apologise for whatever it is that you did. If you had some crazy phase lol and you made mistakes and stuff you regret please remember this you can’t change it.
But you can learn from it and put it upon yourself that you do not repeat the same mistake. Take it as a learning curve. It is essential to express painful feelings and get them out of your system and process hurts, disappointments, embarrassment and grief. Crying is healing and so is writing or talking so choose what works for you.
Even after apologising to someone ,you also need to forgive yourself. Use mental discipline to accept that it has happened and that no amount of wishing will change it. Stop tormenting yourself by churning over the painful event. Choose to forget it. Make a conscious choice to let go of regret and shame.
Stay away from people who make you feel bad for your bad decisions or who make you relive your own mistakes. Rewrite or breakdown the events leading to the mistake. Write down how you would do it differently next time. This affirms to your subconscious mind that you have learned from the situation and if you had the tools you have now back then, things wouldn’t have worked out as they did.
You can then create a clear visualization in your mind of your new creation. This is how we learn not to repeat mistakes. You made them and that’s okay, we all do. It will take me the whole day to talk about my mistakes and that’s a story for another day. But acknowledge it and forgive you.
Share in the comments section your experience with living with past mistakes and regrets.