How do you forgive someone even when they don’t apologize? Truly forgiving isn’t just uttering a few words and moving on. We often hold on to the events, the past, the words long into the future. And they drag us down.
“When a deep injury is done to us, we never heal until we forgive.”Nelson Mandela
For the few decades I have been on this earth I have learnt that when you forgive ,it feels like a certain load has been offloaded from your shoulders. They say Its like freeing someone then you realize it was actually you who needed to be freed.
So here is my list of the people I need to forgive:
The Girl Named Me
I have made a million mistakes, I have hurt so many people ,I have made wise and also the most stupid decisions. I have spent a long time struggling to live with my mistakes and even the repercussions. I have been way too hard on this lady but despite it all I ought to also be kind to her. I have hated how she let people treat her but it’s okay, she found herself and realized her worth. I need to forgive this girl so she can be happy and she will not be insecure or worried and so that she can love herself more with each passing day.
So I just decided to share this very private part of my life. The good thing is I actually have forgiven my parents but decided to share it in case it might help someone. My parents have been pastors most of my life and their jobs came with not as much time with their kids like I would have wanted. There was a time I hated their job and could never find a justification to why they were usually on the move. I then decided to be the one who built the bridge and even without them asking I would tell them whatever is going on with me. I have had to share my parents with so many people. I have had to live with so many people and at times people who would come back to bite the hand that fed them. At times ( which is most of the times) these people would just come without our parents even giving us a heads-up. I still think that my Dad spoils my little brother and we have to suffer when he is throwing his tantrums and giving us attitude lol.
The People From Church
I don’t know and actually don’t care if you will call me petty or simply wrong. But I really need to forgive the people from church who so many times I felt were taking my time with my parents. Then there are the ones who simply judged my siblings and I because we were pastor’s kids and made us feel like we were treading on eggshells when we were living our lives. I need to forgive those who I knew never liked my parents and were out to make their jobs miserable. I know it’s not my beef even.
The Ones I Thought Were My Friends
Anyone who knows me knows I love hard and even for people I call my people I will ride the storm, the hail, the snow and the sunny days. But so many times I have felt short changed. I need to forgive the ones who betrayed and the ones who lied to me. I need to forgive those who weren’t there when I needed them. They are the ones who decided to just leave and it hurt and to get over that pain I need to forgive them.
We all have had our fair share of bad exes the ones that when you look back you simply put that face on or shake your head or laugh at yourself in mere disbelief of how on earth you even did it. Just to put it out there this is not some post from the chicks you deem ”bitter” because she decides to air out stuff that hurt her. I need to forgive my ex for the hurtful things he said to me that at one point made me question my worth. I need to forgive my ex for the hurtful things and bad things he said about me to people. The ex who cheated haaaha guess what I forgave them and forgot about their mother’s maiden surnames in two weeks. But words said hurt more than a slap.
So many times we actually think that we don’t need to forgive nobody but when we then really look deep inside then we realize that it might not be a lot of people but you know there is that one person you need to forgive. Maybe it’s you, maybe an absent parent ,an ex lover, sibling , a friend or that guy who touched you inappropriately. You need to forgive and let go. This in no way changes the past but surely changes the future.
“When you forgive, you in no way change the past—but you sure do change the future.”Bernard Meltzer
Share in the comments section the people you need to forgive and why. If you have conqured already please share how you have managed to forgive.