relationships, life,

Of first time parenthood and unsolicited advice

I have been an aunt all my life and holding and playing with my nieces and nephews is just priceless. Imagine after all the doctor’s visits, the check-ups ,the cravings ,the swollen feet and the big belly. Having babies literally changes or in a way alters your lifestyle.

Where I come from ,if you are a married woman ,when you give birth to your first child you have to go to your parents house so that your mother or whoever raised you will help you take care of yourself and the baby. This is done so as to help the new mother learn the ropes when it comes to taking care of the new born,no one is born a mother right. However being a first time mom or rather first time parents can be a bit overwhelming as everyone around you somehow has something to say about your baby and how to do things.

The unsolicited advice can come from friends,relatives and even complete strangers who just feel that you need some help dealing with your baby. As much as those offering the advice think or feel that they are helping but sometimes it really gets overwhelming if not annoying.

First are the comments on hats and socks. Maybe I am wrong but what’s really the worst that could happen when a baby doesn’t wear a hat and a pair of socks. Should I go on to mention the heat in our dear continent and country and still a baby is supposed to be swaddled in a blankie. No wonder I usually see babies with heat rash lol.

From my conversations and also being around first time parents,the unsolicited advice can so many times be offensive and at times a bit overwhelming. Imagine being a first time mom and all your friends and most of your family have children.And some times you just want to dress your baby with the little vest which says “don’t give my mom any unsolicited advice. I think she is doing just fine.”

However first parents decide to dress their babies is their business and if you really feel that they should have done it any other way please just keep it to yourself and the world will be such a happy place. In our society there are so many superstitions and beliefs when it comes to babies and they could either get a first time mom scared or just get her confused.

Maybe you were a stay at home mom or dad and all and not for the idea of leaving your baby at day care or with a helper ,we applaud you for that. But that doesn’t give you any right whatsoever to judge the one who decided to go back to work after a month or two.

I remember I used to pick clothes for Muku then my mum would say they were inappropriate.😞 I ended up not doing anything and leave her to do everything. Am sure she realised her mistake she stopped interfering lol 🤣🤣🤣. There comes a time whereby you don’t need any advice and you just want to bond with your baby your own way. Yes in this journey advice is an integral part but it sometimes kills relations. Mama Muku

Ok well being a first time mom is overwhelming holding your child for the first. time after going through all the pregnancy changes.It’s just frustrating at times when every one starts giving you advise on how to feed ,bath and nurse your child forgetting people are diffrent and so are babies .What works for my child might not work for yours. Mama Cammie.

So there you have it from someone who is not a mom but has been around first time parents. Your advise is very much good but if it ain’t asked for please keep it your chest ,like cards when playing poker.

If you have been a first time parent and had an experience with unsolicited advice do share in the comments section

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