God ,relationships , life

It’s okay if you do not understand it

Imagine the emotional roller-coaster846ba2d802b7375e23f159fe08e01867 of one day waking up and all you want to do is stay in bed all day, or being in seventh heaven for a minute then it all just changes.


I never used to understand why my aunt’s daughter aged 20, found so much fun in watching TV shows meant for kids or how she would be all happy and bubbly one day and lock herself up in her bedroom the other day. I thought I had had enough of it and was ready to give her a piece of my mind and tell how her attitude was just starting to piss me off.


My sister then explained to me how she was bipolar and hence we never got some of the things she did. It then helped me understand that sometimes we are just shunning things we do not even understand. I am a christian and do not get me wrong. But before we conclude on demon possession and everything in between, can we for once just try to understand exactly what it happening or what the next person is going through.


I say writing saved my life and helped me win the battle as on so many days I would write what was going on in my head or how I was feeling. This is an approach that one could use in trying to understand what is happening with them. On a bad day, write down what you are feeling or how certain things are making you feel. Also write how you would rather feel and if possible try trace the events leading to those feelings or emotions.


It is okay if you do not understand what is going on with you and there is nothing wrong with you. Maybe you are like me and you struggle with anxiety. With the pandemic at hand many people are worried and the uncertainty of what tomorrow or the rest of the future holds has many stressed and anxious.


Surprisingly I am taking the days just as they come and I decided to not stress about things I can not control. On a normal day even just the idea of my phone ringing makes my heart beat faster . It feels like I am scared what the person on the other end has to say. When I submit work or proposals to be reviewed  , I sometimes switch off my phone due to fear of the unknown. I am scared that maybe it will be bad news or a rejection.


When friends ask me to go out , as much as I am the talker and the bubbly character it takes all my might to say that all will be fine. As I am dressing up I am thinking of if I will enjoy it or not. I stress about if I look good and try weigh the options if I really should go. Sometimes I obsess over meeting frenemies and if it will be worth me having gone out. In the end I finally get dressed and leave the house and I usually have a good time.


On some days I do not stress about things I just let it go and go with the flow. I take time to reassure myself that not all is well but there are obviously certain things that are actually going well in my life. I try to assure myself that some things are out of my control and it doesn’t help me at all to try stress it out.


Take time to understand or talk to a professional so you understand what it is exactly that is going on with you. If it is a loved one whose moods or traits you are failing to understand take time to talk to them or help them seek professional help.

At times it’s not bipolar disorder, anxiety depression and many other things and disorders you have heard. It is just stress simply taking its toll on you and you need to seek professional help or talk to someone. Remember, just like your physical well being, your mental health is just as important.

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