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I woke up to a stranger in my house

She was breathing heavy and was sweating like she had just finished a high intensity workout. She had been through a horrible ordeal and her world as she knew it had taken an unexpected turn. Words could have never been enough to explain as no woman or man would want to go through such an experience. She had heard stories of many women’s experiences and … Continue reading I woke up to a stranger in my house

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To those still trying to get over not being the favourite child

I have no experience being a parent and not planning to embark on that journey anytime soon but what I do have experience of is being a child. Born in a family of five, I am the almost last child who according to people was a favourite till my little brother came along ten years later. When he came along my siblings were all grown … Continue reading To those still trying to get over not being the favourite child

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#AskYourMcm: What did they tell you about men/boys & and crying?

I remember seeing my dad crying on his mother funeral when I was 10 but on so many funerals I have seen man go about their business like nothing is going on and they are just okay. I do not blame them as the society they grew up and were raised has promoted a syndrome I call ”fear of tears”. As boys they are taught … Continue reading #AskYourMcm: What did they tell you about men/boys & and crying?

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Life and all its unfairness: Life of Souljah Love

There is this saying where I come from where the elderly talk about how everyone faces challenges and if one is to sit down and listen to everyone else’s challenges and experiences, you will realize that we are all fighting different battles and some actually have it harder and worse. After all the drama, pain, good music and a battle with diabetes Zim dancehall chanter … Continue reading Life and all its unfairness: Life of Souljah Love

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Lockdown extension : The battle of keeping sane

As the president announced an extension to the lockdown although I was not surprised I was just hoping for some good news. With 2922 active cases of Covid19 the country is still under lockdown for the nest two weeks. I can not emphasize enough how I miss just being around some familiar faces, talking about random things and getting home after the sun has set. … Continue reading Lockdown extension : The battle of keeping sane

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I want the you and me type of love

It was Valentine’s weekend and despite being on lockdown I know so many people went all out to celebrate love with their people while some of us were home straight chilling and ensuring we know what we gotta do on Monday. As usual my fellow countrymen do not disappoint, memes and Tick Tock videos came in all day.  It would have been lovely spending the … Continue reading I want the you and me type of love

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Hear me, therapy is not some white people sh*t

I know so many people in my circle who are less likely to seek therapy or even just try it because they simply believe that it is some white people stuff. You would think that after watching Insecure and Lisa going for therapy I would be able to get my people to consider therapy at some point in their lives. Issues to do with mental … Continue reading Hear me, therapy is not some white people sh*t

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The Capitalist Nigger turned me into a racist

Before I read the acknowledgement, foreword and reviews (something I usually do before I buy or read or download a book) I simply was taken by the title and the black cover. Silly I know but well I am just being honest about what drew me to the book. I asked a friend of mine what she thought about the book and she mentioned that … Continue reading The Capitalist Nigger turned me into a racist

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My fellow country men are celebrating Covid19 related deaths

While the whole world is working on finding ways and solutions to curb Covid19, Zimbabweans are celebrating the deaths of those who are succumbing to the virus. I really thought it inhuman for people to be making memes and mocking the dad but then I realized that the people are tired and the death of some of these people give them some short term gratification … Continue reading My fellow country men are celebrating Covid19 related deaths

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#AskYourMCM: Is the wedding band of any significance?

With the debate of whether the white wedding is something that my people should continue as it came with the colonizers, I have become to question so many other things. The issue of the ”traditional African wedding” and the white wedding is a post for another day. I have seen a number of married men who walk around without their wedding bands on their fingers … Continue reading #AskYourMCM: Is the wedding band of any significance?

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Of dysfunctional families and family WhatsApp groups

Imagine not muting group notifications on WhatsApp and only to be woken up by your phone continuously beeping and vibrating and you are even scared something is wrong with someone on your contact list. Only to wake up and find out that you have been added to a family group. As if being in your immediate family WhatsApp group now imagine being in the extended one … Continue reading Of dysfunctional families and family WhatsApp groups

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Being your best parent and work version during lockdown

With most company offices of non-essential service providers closed down , a number of people have been working from home and this comes with its challenges. With a second lockdown enforced just as people got into the new year and were getting ready to go back to work and school some adjustments ought to be done. Working from home is a totally different set-up from … Continue reading Being your best parent and work version during lockdown

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To the girls marking their territory one lipstick at time

A serious relationship is not that easy to come by nowadays so when one does it is no shocker some run to the best traditional healer to get a charm to make sure their partner does not leave them but rather cleaves to them like a suckling to the mother’s boob. Some do not believe in such but have their guard up all the time … Continue reading To the girls marking their territory one lipstick at time

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Men and society are not ready to receive the same pain they put women through

While the lady is busy sipping on some sauvignon blanc and replaying some sad love songs and dancing to Ciara’s ‘’I bet’’, the brother is usually already on top of someone or rather working on getting on top of someone. Many women view the break-up as the beginning of another psychological problem where one needs to figure out what went wrong or what could have … Continue reading Men and society are not ready to receive the same pain they put women through

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We do not care you were raped, what were you doing at his house sis?

I had to turn off my twitter notifications for a day or two because the conversation on consent, sleepovers and rape was just triggering and I realized I was getting super worked up about it. A fellow blogger recently wrote an article and mentioned that ‘’woman’’ seems to be a trigger word now. First it was the posts about the 18-year-old from Bulawayo who was … Continue reading We do not care you were raped, what were you doing at his house sis?

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Healing from childhood trauma is hard but possible

I am a firm believer that everything happens gradually. Look at how erosion or weathering takes forever till its effects are easily visible to the naked eye. In my last post we discussed the effects of childhood trauma on our adult relationships. The sad part is that it usually affects our relationship negatively without us even noticing. At times we do notice but choose to … Continue reading Healing from childhood trauma is hard but possible

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16 Days of activism against gender-based violence: Better half turned abuser.

I saw someone I love lying on a hospital bed with a fractured rib and a cracked lip. She was in pain and all this had been caused by someone the one she loved and had sworn to love and protect her. I was not shocked to find out that it was not the first time she had been beaten. The only difference was that … Continue reading 16 Days of activism against gender-based violence: Better half turned abuser.

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How childhood trauma can affect your adult relationships

DISCLAIMER: Some of the views in this post have been researched by psychologists but the majority are my personal views. They say if you do not deal with your childhood trauma, your romantic relationships will. As much as it is a bitter pill to swallow, childhood traumas do affect one’s relationships one way or the other and sadly usually the effects are negative. Shoving one’s … Continue reading How childhood trauma can affect your adult relationships

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Lately I have been thinking about my death and I wonder

Lately I have been thinking about my death and I wonder I wonder if I can ask, he who made me and ensure that, although the day I came to this earth I made a loud announcement as the midwife held me Although I was crying, the sound gave my mother so much joy and comfort and she cried as she held me close to … Continue reading Lately I have been thinking about my death and I wonder

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A letter to the man that gives me hope

They say it is hard to find some real ones in this world, but in you I found a best friend and brother. It is weird how we turned out to be a crazy duo after I met you while choreographing your friend’s wedding. Since that day you have acted more of a brother than a friend and maybe I do not say it as … Continue reading A letter to the man that gives me hope

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A letter to the wolf in sheep’s clothing

I have been dreading to write this post because then some will think that we only got negative things to say about the other gender. Please do not get me wrong as I have written some really nice things about men in this #DearJohn series. However, as this series is also to just educate the other gender who I hope will also do a #DearJane … Continue reading A letter to the wolf in sheep’s clothing

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A letter to the one that should have treated me better

It is weird or rather very sad, how we usually find ourselves, justifying people’s behavior and ill-treatment. On some days we blame ourselves for getting people to act like that when whether we are good or bad to them, they always have the choice to be kind or to simply be human. Before I wrote this letter, I have been trying so hard to understand … Continue reading A letter to the one that should have treated me better

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A letter to the ones I never gave a chance

I remember watching an episode of the Steve Harvey show and a friend had brought her friend to the show for intervention. Girl was allegedly too bougie and this had her push men away hence she was single yet she complained about not having men making on her. I am not saying I am this girl nor am I any better than her but this … Continue reading A letter to the ones I never gave a chance

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A letter to the one who used me

If I had written this letter some five years ago, I would probably would have used every swear word in my dictionary to get the point across, but then the world would have labelled me the bitter black ex. I did actually write something about you before but that was after I had healed and went back in time to see what really happened. What … Continue reading A letter to the one who used me

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A letter to the man who held my hand

They say it’s a cold world when you are out there all alone, but I thank God for people like you. My dear brothers I think the title for this one should have been in plural form because today’s letter is to my father’s sons. I know the world is a cold place and even ugly on most days but you held my hand in … Continue reading A letter to the man who held my hand

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A letter to the last man who made me smile

Hey baby The past few days have been shaky in our relationship and I know we probably got a long way till we finally get back to where we were but it’s a journey I am wiling to go on. Before the drama I sat with you and I remember arguing about whether white chocolate is actually delicious or not. To solve the debate, you … Continue reading A letter to the last man who made me smile

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Pineapple’s no excuses 21-day fitness challenge

As I wrote the article on self love and loving the body one is in,  I was feeling some pain and just coming from a shower after an intense work out. I then realized that when you actually master the art of self-love and loving your body you also are cautious of what you eat or drink. During a different conversation, my good friend Pineapple … Continue reading Pineapple’s no excuses 21-day fitness challenge

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A letter to the men that catcalled me

catcalling Definition of catcalling 1: the act of shouting harassing and often sexually suggestive, threatening, or derisive comments at someone publicly. Though I seldom witness catcalling or verbal harassment, I’ve come to understand how constant and burdensome it can be for women, especially when the words used are crude, violent, or degrading. Zillman 2: the act or an instance of loudly or raucously expressing disapproval (as at a sports event)… … Continue reading A letter to the men that catcalled me

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Your beat lives on: Famba zvakanaka

I remember the first time I met you. I was a few minutes late for rehearsal as we were getting ready for a 10 minute performance at Mosaic, an event that was held in the capital Harare some four years ago. You were in your zone cooking up some killer choreography with T-kay and I had to wait till you guys were done so I … Continue reading Your beat lives on: Famba zvakanaka

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A letter to the man who stood me up

I wore my little red skirt and a black top literally swam in my bottle of cologne and was ready for some good conversation and amazing food. We spoke before I left the house and you mentioned you were running late but you were coming through. I ordered my favorite concoction as I had a flu and the waiting game began. You actually had the … Continue reading A letter to the man who stood me up

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A letter to his friends

If they never told you, that his friends are not your friends then take this lesson from me dear. Your boyfriend can love you with all his heart and treat you like the queen that you are but usually there is always that one friend or even the whole damn squad. Whatever you do please remember that his friends are his friends and not yours. … Continue reading A letter to his friends

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Don’t just break up with him, break the pattern

So, you have broken up with him and as much as it hurts you feel you deserved better and walking away was you respecting and loving yourself, well done boo. Now you are a prominent member of the singletons club but still willing to dive back into the waters but you scared what happened in your previous relationship and the one before that and the … Continue reading Don’t just break up with him, break the pattern

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My experience with the Wired 2 Love and Thrive tribe

Over the past few years, I have been drawn to mental health issues as it is something that is out there and something I personally experienced. I shared my attempted suicide story for the very first time on my blog some two years back. The idea was to help me heal, forgive myself and move on from the whole situation while also sharing a true … Continue reading My experience with the Wired 2 Love and Thrive tribe

I have accepted that I am not such a nice person

After a nasty breakup, one of my sisters asked me if I felt there is anything, I could have done different even though I felt I had been wronged on all levels. The conversation had been looking at the girl in the mirror and having a conversation with her. It was a hard and painful conversation I must say, but it was long overdue. I … Continue reading I have accepted that I am not such a nice person